47 Project

[Rant Alert]

This post is a rant. Normally almost any auto-DM I see makes me angsty due to their “hey look at me me me!” nature. I’m also ashamed of their blatant attempt to shape our brains into “realizing” that as customers, we are none other than weak-willed bafoons lacking the ability to think for ourselves, incapable of doing research before committing to an action or purchase.

The Hollow Influencer

I started following some people that seemed prolific an insightful on their blog or website, had decent inbound link traffic and showed up in search fairly high in the list in a relevant way. I got a flurry of DM’s when I followed a certain group of these tweeps based on the fact that they had Social Media in their Twitter bio. I was following them just to get an updated lay of the land when it comes to the latest influencers/trending business topics on Twitter.

These auto-DM’s poured in and I was laughing at some of them but also kind of appalled by others from a business perspective. I’ll list the tweets below but will hide the author names to protect the misguided folks that meant well, even if they did miss the mark by a longshot. It’s not surprising, yet still ludicrous and sad, that this layer of the business world, the empty useless stagnant one, still existed and functioned in the background like an old kitchen appliance, louder than ever.

Harvesting The Lemming Long-Tail

The DM’s…..these are all real Auto-DM’s from people that, based on some very minimal research, appeared to possibly be legit influential marketers.

“I REALLY appreciate the follow and I’m always interested in real estate resources if you know any.”

…..okay cool cause I want you to rope me into voluntarily telling you about my real estate resources of choice, so that you can feel justified replying back and saying, “good idea, however I have a better solution, check this link out….

“I do value your follow. Hope you find my tweets helpful. Look forward to yours. A gift:”

(They provided a link here to a promo video for some dude’s “Build an Online Business” DVD.) The guy seems nice enough but calling your own DVD with you talking and it costing me over a hundo to own your DVD series, a ‘gift’ to a human being, to me is like getting ‘the gift’ of a barely working ’84 Buick from a used car salesman. “Thanks buddy, can’t wait until this heap breaks down a block down the road after allowing myself to be sold on the car when it was actually missing it’s engine and steering wheel.”

“Want To Learn How Twitter Could Pay Your Bills Every Month? Look…”

(They provided a link to a network marketing training video.) Twitter can’t pay my bills every month, only I can. Your poorly produced DVD isn’t helping.

“Thanks so much for following me! If you need any help feel free to let me know!”

Help with what??? Anything? Rad! Come wash my car, pay my bills and hook me up with dry cleaning!

“Want to see how I built a twitter list of 40,000 on autopilot?”

This one by far is the best example of everything that is jacked up about social media. Do you raise your kids on autopilot? Do you maintain your closest friendships on autopilot? Does your marriage run on autopilot? Do you keep your biggest customer relationships and accounts running on autopilot? Great job buddy. Thanks for reminding us how there are still a bunch of ‘takers’ trying to exploit peeps for revenue instead of putting some value in the fact that they’ve chosen to invest in your company, you, and your potential success. NEWSFLASH: You OWE them for that.

I just can’t stand this stuff and I don’t bitch that often…so here’s my rant and whining for the quarter. My point here is you can’t squeeze an organically built business relationship out of some cheese-0-matic of a DM so don’t try and sell people that way. It just looks cheap and self-absorbed.

There are of course selfless/harmless versions of these but I just believe that if you want the smartest customers as your loyal customers, don’t treat them like they’re idiots with your messaging.

Onward.