First, The Obvious

Human suffering sucks. Personally I can’t even fathom what someone in Haiti, directly affected by the earthquake, the type of emotional, mental and physical trauma that has been, and continues to be, endured by those that were there; especially those native to the area. The suffering and loss of life there is incomprehensible to most of us. The world can’t do enough to help in times like this and if anything it’s a healthy slap-in-the-face reminder that….the bad traffic yesterday, the toe you stubbed and fractured on the way into the bathroom, the coffee pot that exploded all over your clothes right before heading out the door to make that meeting you are already late for….all of your bad Monday experiences are really not a big deal at all. Misery is relative but human disaster can have a silver lining if we all respond proactively and positively and take a moment to express thanks for what we DO have.

The Issue

Someone interviewed in the CNN article, who had already planned and booked a Haitian Cruise with her sister and 87 year-old mother said, “We kind of discussed it: How can you sit there and say, ‘Waiter, bring me a drink’ while I’m on a private beach … knowing that 100 miles away, people are dying…”. The good news here is that they actually thought about it, discussed it, and processed it in a way that was indicative of the fact they had a conscience. This is a good thing. That passes my test.

So should people feel guilty for going on their Haitian cruiseline vacation even though 70,000+ people just died only 100 miles away from your vacation spot? This begs the next question. Take a step back and ask yourself…with this logic…should people feel ok and justified in being more fortunate than others?

Emotional Relativity

It’s no mystery that the things we attach our emotions to are relative to our surroundings, the people in our lives, and most obviously how we were raised. That’s just reality. I will NEVER truly know what it’s like to grow up in an environment other than what I actually grew up in, and neither will you. The closest anyone will come to this is transporting ourselves into someone else’s shoes, trying to at least live a week or so like they do. But even then, most get to ‘go back’ to their actual lives.

I’ve seen lots of colorful posts on the CNN story I linked to above about this. The opinions are all over the place and it’s interesting to see, on a scale of guilt-influenced behavior, how and why people respond and react emotionally to events like the earthquake in Haiti.

Here are some comments:

“These cruise ships are delivering tons and tons of food and water to Haiti. And these supplies get distributed right away. Royal Caribbean is teamed up with Food For The Poor to help the needy. 100% of any revenue made at Labadee is donated. I would feel honored to be on one of these ships. I would get off the ship, not to party, but to buy something from a local vendor or to tip a local worker. How many people get to help so directly, in a terrible situation like this? And someone that has been at this port of call, said the local workers get to eat at the cruise’s buffet, on the beach, along with the passengers. Royal Caribbean has 10 employees missing because of the earthquake there. The employees were from Haiti and on break when it happened.”

“People die every minute of every day all over the world. I guess none of us should ever smile or go on vacations. Or is there a specified distance from which you are allowed to not be miserable?”

“It baffles me why people going to Haiti wouldn’t want to have some personal involvement with people beyond sitting on a beach and buying trinkets. That would be a truely rewarding vacation.”

As you can see, even though I’ve only given you a snippet of the responses, there’s quite a variety of what opinions are acceptable and which ones aren’t.

My Opinion

If you have inner peace and enjoy your life, you are not a selfish asshole. If you are on vacation or have lots of great people (family/friends) supporting you, a good job, some cool stuff in your house, etc., the positive emotional capital you’ve gained in your life from these things should not be linked to world catastrophes that happen beyond your control. I would say that if you can contribute funds, even $1 dollar, to a disaster such as this one, it’s all gravy without guilt. Every time I go into Safeway (which is often because of my teens ability to consume at an alarming rate), I’m always prompted to donate to a charitable cause on the card reader, whether it be breast cancer, leukemia, Parkinson’s, etc. I try and donate at least a few bucks to each new cause that comes through their system. It’s easy, affordable, and helps make a difference in SOME way. Should I feel guilty because I don’t donate EVERY time I’m swinging by to pick up a loaf of bread, already late to pick up my kids? No.

Do your thing, live your life, help others in need when you can.