Tag: rich harris

Open API’s: Good for Syndication. Bad for Safety?

Posted by Rich Harris – February 18, 2010

Unearthing Another Reality

I’m usually not focused on writing about breaking news but being a regular user of Foursquare and then watching all the press and online noise yesterday about PleaseRobMe.com, I really started to think about open API’s, their possibilities, the good, the bad, and the bigger picture. While I’m not necessarily offended by what the PleaseRobMe.com guys have done (after all, we all have access to that data), it does remind us how a little creativity + ingenuity + behavioral data = influence. Regardless of how truthful or how it’s spun, we can essentially do whatever we want. I think the PleaseRobMe.com dudes used humor to reveal how ridiculous our assumptions are that we can just use all these tools so lackadaisically and believe that nothing bad could come of it.

It’s Just Data, Right?

There is a data collection procedure that they have done with small children when it comes to their exploratory behavior. I saw it on Discovery Channel years ago but I haven’t found a photo, video or article on it online yet. I will link out to it when I find it, or better yet if you know, send it to me and I’ll append it to this blog post and credit you with the find.

Basically, they would put a toddler in a big playroom full of toys. There would be a camera overhead in the center of the room. The child would also have a small concentrated red light affixed comfortably and safely to the child’s back on his/her shirt or overalls. For about an hour or so, as the child ran back and forth doing things, playing with different toys, hitting several different areas of the room every minute, the camera would capture the patterns of the child’s movements over a specified amount of time, drawing it’s movement patterns for the camera. Child psychologists would then analyze this crazy light pattern of movement to better understand attention spans and other developmental characteristics during playtime.

I think apps/sites like Foursquare are collecting the same type of data about adults and probably tech savvy teens too. I have two teenagers that are under my guidance with their data-enabled phones but it’s a little unnerving to think about how much easier it is now for the underbelly of society to learn about them. I’m not much of a conspiracy guy but there are some evil (and intelligent) mofos out there that see this kind of data as the framework for their silver platter of chaos that they can feast on to their heart’s content. API = Open book.

We Are A Giant Research Project

Think about all the sites and online tools that we love. Think about all those sites and online tools that we love and interact with often through multiple means that have open API’s. Think about the amount of data we are giving them about ourselves, friends and family. Just like when an MRI creates a 3D image scan of your noggin by collecting data, these types of sites are doing the same with your behavioral patterns and those you associate with. The funny (or odd) part about all of it is that we are voluntarily (and excitedly in some cases) providing this information to whoever wants access to it for whatever reason. More interesting is the fact that we are connecting apps like Foursquare to our Twitter accounts, which we sometimes connect to our Facebook accounts and other publicly available accounts like Tumblr, Identi.ca, etc.

Foursquare was designed to be a fun way for us to keep track of where are friends are (hopefully only the ones we truly trust), incorporating the fun/reward factor with badges, mayorship, etc. If you are diligent about using the app, it also is giving people an idea of what your daily routines are, good, bad, ugly and indifferent.

This behavioral data collection phenomenon is not just limited to Foursquare either. Think about all the areas now in which people make available data about themselves. MySpace, Facebook, Twitter, Flickr and the fairly recent wider opening of LinkedIn’s API channels can you give you all the info you need, a 95% heuristic view of a person’s life, just shy of physically hanging out with them in their own living room. If you are a social/tech guy like me using all these services, people can now know your name, your aliases/monikers used (47project for instance), your work history, your hobbies, your music interests, what you look like, your schedule, social and business affiliations and the convos you have within those circles…..all of this is pretty much excessible through API’s. They can also, after finding all that out about you, wormhole into your friend’s lists and find out all of those exact same details about them if they’ve posted it anywhere online. This is a really gnarly concept. The gnarliest part about it is that we are feeding it by choice. It’s not all bad but there’s awareness and responsibility that comes with the use of all these cool apps and sites.

Mindfulness

If you are like me at all, waiting hungrily on pins and needles for the next new social app phenomenon to grace your news feeds, so you can be the first to slam it onto your Blackberry, iPhone, or Android, plugging in your login creds, getting on yet another grid, remember that the more of these sites and apps you use, and the more info you choose to reveal about yourself publicly online, should be kept proportionately equal to the amount of vigilance and proactive awareness you should have about the possibilities of your data being used and/or misused.

Other Great Articles on The Subject

ZDNet: Please Rob Me: Ethical or not? [poll]

Mashable: Are We All Asking to Be Robbed?

CNET: The dark side of geo: PleaseRobMe.com

Information Week: PleaseRobMe.com Solicits Social Theft

Onward.

Facebook’s Juxtaposition of Reality, Our Responsibility

Posted by Rich Harris – February 15, 2010

The Information Consumption Routine

Every morning I boot up my MacBook Pro, I start some coffee, throw together a quick breakfast, load up Gmail, Facebook, etc. and start observing,  joining, or creating conversations. You never have any idea what you are going to be talking about every day on Facebook, it just happens. The access to these conversations every day is starting a huge cultural shift in personal communication and all of it’s different levels of value and meaning. While there is no replacement for the real deal, we’re learning very quickly how to “read” the correct emotional tone of Facebook statuses, Tweets, IM chat sessions, based on who we are talking to, when we are talking to them, who their other friends are on Facebook, and what your history is with them.

We’ve also started joining groups and fanning pages en masse, not even for the sake of the participating in the group or page itself, but just to have an opportunity to announce publicly in an information stream….to let the world know….(diminuendo to a dramatic pause)….that you’ve just become a fan of “Standing On Your Head While Stacking Golf Balls On Tuesdays After 3pm PST” and you don’t care who knows it!

The Needle

There are a couple things going on now that I think we really need to pay attention to. There are benefits and inherent flaws in the mobilization power contained within an environment like Facebook. The feelings of immediate connectedness can almost distract us from the thought of what it really means to be connected and reciprocal with others around us.

Benefit

Facebook on one hand has made it possible for us to amass quickly with like minded individuals for a passionate purpose. It puts those that have always wanted to make a statement or do something big with their opinion but never had the right medium for it. They were too shy, too localized, or too overwhelmed at where to even begin. All understandable of course. This has opened doors for them and given them a voice that puts them on the map. This is a very positive thing.

Caution

There is another side to this coin however, a price or cost that is being paid. Unintentionally I think we are training ourselves, to some extent, to feel morally validated by joining a group on Facebook called “Cure Cancer” and that’s all. It’s as if somehow we’re giving back by joining the group publicly and opting in to messages/news from the group or fan page. Now I do believe strongly that the dissemination and forwarding of information by supporters is awesome and will never be a bad thing. It’s a tangible contribution and good reason to join a group. Fans of a cause on Facebook can get the word out quick and promote. But we can ALL do that on Facebook, with just the click of a mouse, and then we update our status with how much we love bacon and then play Farmville (FB games are not my gig).

I don’t have the stats but I just wonder what the ratio is of people on Facebook that ‘joined’ a great cause to the amount of people that have actually either volunteered 1 hour of their time or $1 to any charity anywhere within the last month. I very much include myself in the group of people that wasn’t really giving, and did so without really realizing it. I was joining, and still do, online communities with a premise that I support. I share their posts on my wall, I retweet stuff to spread the word. I just started to question myself on how much have I actually tangibly given back or made any real contribution to any of these philanthropic institutions or initiatives. When I looked back at my level of giving back vs. what I took for myself, it wasn’t looking promising. I was out of whack and am still in the process of scoping out a way for me to contribute that allows me to also keep the quality of the other things I’m doing in my career and family life extremely high. Both can easily be done. You just gotta get creative.

Balance

I realized I really need to step it up in the area of real, actual contribution. Even a dollar a month helps, or donating an hour of your time at a teen center, a homeless shelter, an understaffed public school, or an old folks home giving some people your conversation time to brighten up the tail end of their existence as they get ready to move on. Look through one of the big charity fan pages or groups you’ve joined on Facebook and see if there’s something in your local area you can check out and contribute to every couple of weeks for an hour or so.

Reciprocation, Social Responsibility

Not to get all preachy here but the online world is permanently infusing itself with our psyches, our communication, sense of belonging and community, all at the click of a button. We need to be careful to not get complacent with a subconsciously perceived substitution for physical interaction and presence, for actually going somewhere to help a perfect stranger that could really use someone to talk to for an hour, a family that could use a $20 bag of groceries this month, a dollar to Haiti, or donating some old books you’ll never read again to a school or two.

You know me, I love social networking and yammering on about nothing more than most of you probably ever will but I am reminded constantly by my kids how important it is focus on the tangible.

Onward.

Social Media: To Rockstar or Not to Rockstar

Posted by Rich Harris – February 5, 2010

Ya Done Good Son.

You started out years ago as a newbie online marketer. Over the last decade or so, you’ve pulled off some amazing things with viral marketing campaigns, banner ad placements, eCommerce, and  some huge partner promotions/campaigns leveraging everything under the sun effectively without spending hardly a dime and the revenue is rolling in. Your shrewd sense of where things are going next in the online marketing world has set you apart from your co-workers and your equivalents at other companies.

Your marketing cunning has been noted by journalists abroad and you’ve even done a few high-profile keynotes and panels. You’ve written for a couple well-known print publications with huge distribution as a guest columnist. You feel the momentum of your career getting more intense and gaining the kind of thrust you had always hoped it would finally get. Finally it is happening.

Then one year, the Social Media ship lands and an outpouring of tools and websites floods the online world. You quickly understand these new concepts, embrace them, become a master at manipulating them to sculpt yours and your company’s future and now you are right smack in the middle of the new era and excited about it.

After a couple more years of plugging away, you are a Social Media expert. A new opportunity arises. You get hired to do a job at a big company. You were hired under the assumption that you would be a bad ass at it because being a bad ass at it is what will make your employer happy by making them money. They will make money as a result of your genius strategy for garnering more social capital than their competitors could ever imagine. People are following you and the company that hired you on Twitter, Facebook, LinkedIn and are engaged.

As doors start opening for you within the social media community, your frame of reference and circle of professional cohorts expands exponentially.

The Corporate Debacle

What should your company do with you when you actually become the bad ass they always wanted you to be? When directors and VP’s, who are also smart career opportunists like you, know that your success brings opportunity not just for their company, but for you personally as well? Should they be threatened by that? Should they embrace it? Should they be happy or annoyed with you that your blog has taken off, your Twitter following is through the roof quadrupling the company’s, and you are getting talked about in social media almost as much as your company is?

Due to the nature of social media if you are active, excellent at what you do, and involved in the communities, you meet LOTS of people, constantly and instantly. All the boundaries have lifted, the shackles of long distances geographically have been removed. We can find ‘like’ people right NOW. These people are from all over the world, many of them are smart as hell and respected in their industry and career space. There are so many benefits for your company as you mix it up on behalf of <COMPANY NAME>, getting involved, and being an evangelist for your company. Before you know it, the same amount of people are asking you about you as they are about your company.

A recent article from Sage Circle entitled, “Forrester tells analysts no more personal blogs with interesting implications for analyst relations” discusses how Forrester management had requested that all of their analysts shut down all of their own personal blogs. Forrester CEO George Colony was all down for non-competes that favored the employer because  “… non-competes ultimately help new and established companies alike to retain the talent they’ve invested in, further nurtured and who have become star employees due to their rewarding tenure and success. …”.

Where do you draw the line though? How can you justify keeping your SM expert at bay BECAUSE they did such an amazing job and are naturals at what they do? You can’t tell a Social Media expert to not be social. You can’t tell an opportunist to not seize the best opportunities. Anyone with even a hair of ambition knows this.

My recommendation on how companies should handle this is to recognize their Social Media expert’s success. Stay close to them and help them facilitate their career growth. Like any role anywhere, if a company supports the growth of an outstanding employee, statistics have shown they will be loyal and stick with their company longer as well and will continue to be in good standing after an eventual split if it happens. Invest in the relationship with your SM rockstar and it will pay your company back in the short and long term, regardless if they end up working for you or not.

Just remember that a star can’t make you shine if you keep it in a box.

DNA: Science, Subversion & The Future

Posted by Rich Harris – February 5, 2010

Opinions & Conversation

Recently I was privy to an interesting conversation on my Facebook page where I had posted an article on CNN: “The government has your baby’s DNA“, written by Elizabeth Cohen. The overall premise of this article is the debate on whether or not it’s safe and ethical to store information about a person’s DNA, or not.

At first glance after reading the article, I wondered to myself what really is the issue “problem” with this concept? So at the risk of sounding clueless, I posted the status/comment, “…not sure what the big deal is here” and I was genuine when I posted it. I’m glad I did as it brought in some really great comments.

If you push conspiracy theories aside, and fundamentalist religious practices that may be opposed to it as well, what is the real harm in retaining that data? Here are a couple posts with varying and opposing views from that conversation on Facebook:

“…so from a law sort of standpoint you could be falsely accused of a crime, your DNA coming close to matching that of the assailant. In this day and age of CSI, Bones, NCIS, etc. people think they know what they need to know about DNA. You’d pretty much be hosed. Even if you were eventually found innocent your life would pretty much be a shadow of it’s former self.”

“Big concerns are the potential for abuse by insurance companies or future employers, as well as general privacy issues with this being easy to obtain. Do you really want someone with a little cash (e.g. aforementioned employers, government, tabloid reporters, political opponents, etc) to be able to find out you have Klinefelter’s syndrome, or a predisposition to schizophrenia?”

“So I fall on the side of making genetic testing manditory for every newborn. There are so many genetic issues (David mentioned Klinefelters as an example) that if treated early can help improve the quality of life of the individual who has it. Too many people find out about this stuff later in life and say “that explains it!”. Anyway, I think once the intial screen and notification is done, the DNA should be “separated” from its owners name and used for whatever (except cloning)”

Is The Extreme Polarization of Approach The Only Option?

I think all the points I quoted above from others are completely valid. I think the bigger question here, in my opinion of course, isn’t should we retain the data or not. The bigger question really is: Can we do it in a way that is ethical so that the benefits of this data analysis are yielded by humanity while the DNA data itself is owned, protected and secured by some sort of diverse council or committee of people to keep things objective when it comes to the release of information. Membership of this council or board can have a set of strict prequisites the aid in the protection of this data and it’s proper use. For example those nominated are not allowed to have a strong affiliation with any religious sect, political ties to special interest groups or parties, etc.

I know to some extent I’m oversimplifying it here and that with every well-intentioned person, there are 10 people with bad intentions unfortunately. The dilemma that I have morally is this I guess….why completely avoid something that can have great benefits for those with a predisposition to diseases, syndromes, conditions and other various health problems, out of fear that it will get into the ‘wrong’ hands? Why not try and figure out a way to have an objective process that is well thought out and governed by a globally represented scientific/healthcare community to manage and protect it for good use? Of course bad people do bad shit but if we shut down every innovative and positive idea intended for the better out of fear (like doing business online), then we might not get anywhere.

Onward.

Social Media Brushfires: Know When to Hold ‘em…

Posted by Rich Harris – February 3, 2010

…Know when to walk away….

OK…please excuse the tasteless implementation of the Kenny Rogers reference but I think it’s very fitting for this particular post. We should all know the importance and priority of managing bad PR, whether you are a huge publicly traded company, or an up and coming startup, trying to make a good first impression in your respective market. With this comes the responsibility of knowing how to manage and pick your battles through all the noise.

If you are on Twitter/Facebook representing your company, you have a few different responsibilities:

  1. Syndicate meaningful, relevant and useful content (whether it’s your own or an outside party’s)
  2. Monitor tone.
  3. Respond to valid inquiries.
  4. Research new potential prospects/markets.
  5. Damage control.

Damage Control

For this post I’ll be focusing on #5 from the above list. One of the most important PR aspects of your job is watching out for bad media coverage, misconstrued news, inaccurate information/statements, manipulation of content for malicious purposes, and the inevitable “brushfire” that can take off like a flaming bullet-train constructed entirely of retweets, moving faster than the speed of Twitter’s API read/write count per second. (Holy run-on sentence Batman.)

As most seasoned PR professionals (which I am not) know, you need to have a damage control strategy and process in place for when the proverbial thorn comes out of nowhere and sticks your company in the ribs until you can find the right tools to extract it. Social media is obviously no exception and needs to be part of that overall process/strategy.

One question I’m asked often is, “How do I know when to respond to a problem tweet, post or person, and to what extent if at all?” While there’s no silver bullet answer because almost every situation is different in it’s subtleties, there are a few things you should think about.

Rules of Engagement

As a father of 3 active boys, I’ve learned to pick my battles almost hourly and am reminded constantly to keep this thought in my arsenal when doing my job online. In SM it’s imperative that you do the same. Not every complaint is worth yours or your company’s time. Some of them are worthless, some are worth noting and others require engagement on some level. Be efficient in your choice of customer entanglement. :-) Here are a few types of posters that I’ve seen and how I responded:

  1. The Strobe – In a flash, this person will usually say something once and with much emotion and superfluous punctuation, yet no detail, and then be done with it. Example: “<yourcompanyname> SUCKS!!!!!!”. No action to be taken here. Because they’ve provided no newsworthy detail in this post and most will see them as whiners anyhow. Chances are they are not an influencer. Nothing to see here folks, keep moving.
  2. The Heckler – This is an upgraded version of The Strobe. They will post multiple times hoping that their emotional, yet information-less, rant sort of ‘takes off’ and has it’s own snowball effect. Again with this one though, most of their posts are emotional and not often substantiated with any background. You *should* keep an eye on them however because they do have the time and energy to put into it and will probably keep an eye on your company for mistakes.
  3. The Investigator – This person is as thorough in documenting their issues as they are in their delivery of information to the web for all to see. If there is an issue, they will most likely have the story and the facts to back up their claim. Watch very closely for posts by these types and take them seriously. It is highly recommended that you reach out to these people immediately, opening up some dialog to validate their claims. Many times their content and/or story are capable of unearthing weaknesses in your company and/or it’s products and services.

Be Cool, Go With Your Gut

At the end of the day, you know your company better than anyone else (or at least you should) out there when it comes to public perception and reputation because you observe it all day. Simply continue paying close attention to all the streams of information that are relevant and act accordingly. Just make sure to triple check yourself before reacting to anything, and work very closely with your PR team and management to ensure that you are all on the same page when picking your battles, because there will be many of them for you to choose from, sometimes daily.

Onward.

Social Media: Stand By Your PR Crisis

Posted by Rich Harris – February 1, 2010

Bank of America is in the trenches right now. Like most B of A customers last week, I could not access my account info while attempting to login from www or via mobile device. Of course I jumped on Twitter to follow them for status. As I watched the stream on Twitter unravel, watching everyone’s opinions and complaints about B of A fly by on TweetDeck, I was checking out what Liliana Dumitru-Steffens saw before writing her article “Online PR Crisis: Bank of America Website Down, no Explanation from the Owner“. At first my thoughts were, “cool, they’re on Twitter, they’re gonna let us know what’s up.” Instead what I saw was the online bludgeoning of the folks who were running the Twitter accounts on behalf of B of A by all the customers, but Bank of America was not effectively backing them process-wise. While the customers were snapping at them right and left, shooting first and asking questions later, I realized a couple things. First, I could tell that their Twitter reps were genuinely wanting to help. The problem was the second issue -  they were probably to some extent not getting the info they needed from their own employer to respond accordingly with some details that would’ve at least given the B of A customers a little more patience during the crisis.

A Couple Tips for a PR Crisis

  1. Before choosing Twitter as an official and legitimate support channel for your company, make sure your PR/Communications team are ready to support your Twitter reps with a process for delivering details/status on issues expeditiously so that you don’t hang your social media reps out to dry for your customers to devour and lambaste them when there is a crisis. Sending your soldiers out to battle with no weapons or gear is bad.
  2. Always stay in front of the PR crisis publicly, with a sense of urgency, and mean it. When a bad PR hit goes down for your company or client on Twitter/Facebook, especially when there are customers being effected (and in this case, they’re hooked in financially which makes them extra edgy), this is your moment to shine and wave the flag of corporate transparency to put them at ease. Customers know that websites have issues, that they get hacked, that they crash or become unavailable. Welcome to technology! However, if they can’t clearly see that you are coordinated with your internal teams with the latest updates, rolling out practical sets of expectations every half hour or so with the latest news, they will hate you quickly and easily. Let them know you are fighting for their right to have a good customer experience.

Also check out the Huffington Post article: “Bank Of America Website DOWN: 2010 Outage Affects Online Banking“. There are some good nuggets in there as well.

Onward.

Social Media: Perception, Trust, Influence, Control

Posted by Rich Harris – January 28, 2010

Human Perception – Intangible Yet In Control of Humanity

Since humans began walking the earth, how they perceive the world around them dictates the direction of humanity. In my opinion, it is very clearly Pavlovian in nature. When we are born, we have a default set of electrical impulses and chemical/hormonal responses that make up who we are. Once the process of pregnancy is done, we are then thrust into the world and from that very moment that we are born, inhaling that first breath of air outside of the womb, our senses are stimulated, taking input, processing it, categorizing it, labeling it, assigning physiological responses to it, and so forth. Life experiences and environmental influences, if even on a small level at first, start shaping our perceptions immediately and thus the process of environmental influence on our brains begins. This environmental influence is the foundation on which the building blocks of our perception of the world are stacked over time for the rest of our lives. Environmental influence and these building blocks are what you as a social marketer need to understand and have spinning in the back of your head when you are digging deep in search of that golden soft spot with your current and potential audiences.

The Connection

Now, while I know that I geeked out a little bit in the first section of this blog post giving you all my worst impression of Bill Nigh the Anthropological Science Guy, my focus here is to help really break down social marketing in more cerebral scientific terms. After all, ultimately there truly is an equation for all this stuff. Can social media be broken down to a chemical/molecular level? Of course it can, just like everything else….I’m sure either way however, there’s a chance I sound crazy, and more importantly, I hope you feel compelled to question me on it. :-)

I’ll now connect my science rant with the title of this blog post: Whether you want to call it ‘building positive brand awareness with conversation’ or ’social media’, personally I think perception control through influence is really what this comes down to. We need to learn how to harness everyone’s perception by understanding how to influence it on a deeper level. We all want to tweet, syndicate, and converse. We all want everyone on the planet to follow our company and become it’s fan. The biggest problem however that execs have expressed concern about with social media is that it makes them feel like their company’s message is out of control out there in the interwebs. Understandable.

SM is a tad bizarre in that you need to be able to focus on celebrating and embracing it’s freedom and socialness while simultaneously keeping your company’s reputation and perception on the up and up which is done through SOME sort of control. I know most will wince at the thought of putting the words ’social media’ and ‘control’ in the same sentence but I’m all about using a combo of understanding how the process of human perception and response can be exploited to get people to not just feel good about your company, but to feel even better about influencing someone else’s perception of your company; a much more valuable measurement.

Creating Perception

So all those building blocks of perception I mentioned in the borderline mad scientist intro paragraph I whipped up at the top should be heavily regarded because they are moldable, morphable, and can be sculpted and shaped through all types of influence. Social media being no exception of course. The path to these building blocks is a good first impression created by their observations of your company on the various social platforms. Knowing your audience and where to find them in the sea of Twitter/Facebook noise is key. Once you have that nailed, make sure your content/tweets/positive customer engagements are happening publicly there for them to see. Those are good catalysts for these new potential customers to give you ‘access’ to molding their perception of you….letting their consumer guard down, establishing at least some initial trust, etc.

Managing Perception

After you’ve gained that initial level of trust through your positive and targeted first impressions, maintaining that moving forward is key. As I sit here all day every day and watch my 24″ screen dedicated to nothing but streams of Twitter search word columns using TweetDeck, while my other monitor watches a few other tools, I am reminded daily about the importance of maintenance. While you can’t control what people are gonna say, you CAN keep tabs in realtime about the overall perception of your company or brand (we all know that already). Watching this stuff on behalf of (and sometimes in defense of after some bad PR) can feel like an overwhelming digital version of Whack-A-Mole, ensuring that you catch every bad piece of press to counter and every good piece of press to augment. I can’t reiterate enough the importance of making the maintenance part of your social media role an extremely high priority. If you do not, you leave the mercy of your company’s public influence to the wolves.

Onward.

Haitian Vacation: Catastrophe And Guilt

Posted by Rich Harris – January 21, 2010

So there was a post today entitled “Haiti cruise stops draw ire, support“, published on the Travel section of CNN.com. I’m a little conflicted on this one.

First, The Obvious

Human suffering sucks. Personally I can’t even fathom what someone in Haiti, directly affected by the earthquake, the type of emotional, mental and physical trauma that has been, and continues to be, endured by those that were there; especially those native to the area. The suffering and loss of life there is incomprehensible to most of us. The world can’t do enough to help in times like this and if anything it’s a healthy slap-in-the-face reminder that….the bad traffic yesterday, the toe you stubbed and fractured on the way into the bathroom, the coffee pot that exploded all over your clothes right before heading out the door to make that meeting you are already late for….all of your bad Monday experiences are really not a big deal at all. Misery is relative but human disaster can have a silver lining if we all respond proactively and positively and take a moment to express thanks for what we DO have.

The Issue

Someone interviewed in the CNN article, who had already planned and booked a Haitian Cruise with her sister and 87 year-old mother said, “We kind of discussed it: How can you sit there and say, ‘Waiter, bring me a drink’ while I’m on a private beach … knowing that 100 miles away, people are dying…”. The good news here is that they actually thought about it, discussed it, and processed it in a way that was indicative of the fact they had a conscience. This is a good thing. That passes my test.

So should people feel guilty for going on their Haitian cruiseline vacation even though 70,000+ people just died only 100 miles away from your vacation spot? This begs the next question. Take a step back and ask yourself…with this logic…should people feel ok and justified in being more fortunate than others?

Emotional Relativity

It’s no mystery that the things we attach our emotions to are relative to our surroundings, the people in our lives, and most obviously how we were raised. That’s just reality. I will NEVER truly know what it’s like to grow up in an environment other than what I actually grew up in, and neither will you. The closest anyone will come to this is transporting ourselves into someone else’s shoes, trying to at least live a week or so like they do. But even then, most get to ‘go back’ to their actual lives.

I’ve seen lots of colorful posts on the CNN story I linked to above about this. The opinions are all over the place and it’s interesting to see, on a scale of guilt-influenced behavior, how and why people respond and react emotionally to events like the earthquake in Haiti.

Here are some comments:

“These cruise ships are delivering tons and tons of food and water to Haiti. And these supplies get distributed right away. Royal Caribbean is teamed up with Food For The Poor to help the needy. 100% of any revenue made at Labadee is donated. I would feel honored to be on one of these ships. I would get off the ship, not to party, but to buy something from a local vendor or to tip a local worker. How many people get to help so directly, in a terrible situation like this? And someone that has been at this port of call, said the local workers get to eat at the cruise’s buffet, on the beach, along with the passengers. Royal Caribbean has 10 employees missing because of the earthquake there. The employees were from Haiti and on break when it happened.”

“People die every minute of every day all over the world. I guess none of us should ever smile or go on vacations. Or is there a specified distance from which you are allowed to not be miserable?”

“It baffles me why people going to Haiti wouldn’t want to have some personal involvement with people beyond sitting on a beach and buying trinkets. That would be a truely rewarding vacation.”

As you can see, even though I’ve only given you a snippet of the responses, there’s quite a variety of what opinions are acceptable and which ones aren’t.

My Opinion

If you have inner peace and enjoy your life, you are not a selfish asshole. If you are on vacation or have lots of great people (family/friends) supporting you, a good job, some cool stuff in your house, etc., the positive emotional capital you’ve gained in your life from these things should not be linked to world catastrophes that happen beyond your control. I would say that if you can contribute funds, even $1 dollar, to a disaster such as this one, it’s all gravy without guilt. Every time I go into Safeway (which is often because of my teens ability to consume at an alarming rate), I’m always prompted to donate to a charitable cause on the card reader, whether it be breast cancer, leukemia, Parkinson’s, etc. I try and donate at least a few bucks to each new cause that comes through their system. It’s easy, affordable, and helps make a difference in SOME way. Should I feel guilty because I don’t donate EVERY time I’m swinging by to pick up a loaf of bread, already late to pick up my kids? No.

Do your thing, live your life, help others in need when you can.

Out With 2009, In With 2010

Posted by Rich Harris – December 26, 2009

2009 has been a long one for me but it has been probably one of the most fruitful when it comes to my career and personal growth, more so than any year I’ve had in the last decade. I have a great circle of friends and family which I’m very thankful for. Most of all I’m proud of my 3 sons for doing such a phenomenal job in school and in life. Their sense of humor and intelligence knows no bounds and they continue to teach me important lessons about myself, even when I don’t really want to hear it or acknowledge it. They rock and continue to enlighten me.

I hope everyone has had a great holiday season and and I wish peace and prosperity to all of you for 2010. Cheers to the next reset button, chapter, volume, book…..

Social Media: B2B, It’s About Interaction Analysis Silly!

Posted by Rich Harris – November 30, 2009

Dude, Social Media for B2B, Everyone’s Talking About It, Bro.

b2b-technology-marketing-agency-wordle-3One of the hottest topics in social media as it pertains to corporate, is how to incorporate social media into a company’s currently existing B2B strategy and initiatives. I’ve witnessed several discussions about this topic. The bottom line is that the solution is NOT in the tools available (Twitter, Facebook). The solution is not hiring some agency to set up an account on every social site.

Social media strategies and proposed solutions should only be created based on analysis. There are companies and agencies that have come to this conclusion on their own (a good thing), however the main issue still exists. Most of these entities are analyzing the wrong things to generate their strategy. Of course it’s important to know your audience/segment/demo…whatever you wanna call it. It’s important to understand what your top 3 competitors are or aren’t doing. That’s all standard blah blah blah…

The fruits of social media for any business, any type of business, in any industry, come from the enhancement of interactions. Enhancing the key interactions are the core of all social media successes in my opinion. Those key interactions are the ones that catalyze the rest of your efforts across the board.

Where Should You Start?

With B2B, it’s a little different. Don’t waste your time focusing on the hype of the currently popular tools like you would in the consumer world. B2B is a different beast because B2B customers, relationships and conversations are NOT typically the type that you share with the general public. When you are thinking about how to deal with your distys and the sales channel, remember that Facebook, MySpace, Twitter and the zillions of other tier 2/tier 3 sites were not created, nor have they thrived, because they had the nature of B2B in mind. It’s hard not to wince when I hear companies say stuff like, “I know we NEED social media in our B2B strategy, it’s the latest thing and we don’t wanna miss the boat.” What people should really be saying is, “I know we need to enhance our relationships and interactions with our customers on the B2B side. If social media has a place here, let’s use it.”

A Scenario

237303-main_FullAs the top social media person in your company, you are approached by some inside sales people that manage the big accounts. They heard about social media, have heard of Twitter, Facebook, and so on. They want to incorporate social media into their B2B program/marketing roadmap but aren’t sure how to go about it.

Here are some simple steps to get started that I’ve been using:

  1. Discovery Time. Set up a meeting with your new stakeholders so that you can discuss the entire process for the way they communicate and interact with their customers. Find out all points in the process with a customer that they have a direct interaction, human to human. Find out if there’s a site/application that they interact with where feedback or communications with those customers happens, like Salesforce.com, etc. EVERY touch point of interaction needs to be noted whether it’s a person OR a process that interacts with them. An accurate picture of this will help you get closer to identifying the gaps that need to be filled. Also it’s important to ask them if they know what their customers currently need and have, and what they need but don’t have. Your stakeholders should be able to answer those questions quickly. If they can’t, then they have approached you too early in the game.
  2. Get More Feedback. Your stakeholders will know a lot about their customers. If social media is new to their fold however, I don’t think it hurts to give them some homework. Have them pick out 5-10 of their most difficult and opinionated customers. They should let those customers know that they are exploring introducing some social media concepts into the relationship and process and would like some feedback on ways they could improve on communicating/interacting. Based on those results, it’s time to begin the construction of your plan.
  3. Choose Your Drug. You now have a list of interactions to take a look at, know who their audience is, and what their needs are. The next steps are to assess with the stakeholder what kinds of interactions seem to really work and which ones seem to fall on deaf ears (which we will throw out of the equation immediately for this new social media plan). Zoom in on the good stuff and research if there’s currently a social tool, site, or product offering that could help augment those things that currently work. Keep in mind that there may not be. Most social media sites were initially designed with nimble, chaotic, public conversation/interaction in mind so I can tell you right now that trying to bend and sculpt the public consumer factor of something like Facebook and Twitter, is not the right approach and will fail (unless of course Facebook/Twitter decide they want to change their whole model and reason for existence to serving enterprise level B2B marketing initiatives – probably not gonna happen). If you found something out there that works, then congrats and move forward with an execution for testing it out. If you cannot find a solution in a pretty little package with a bow on it somewhere then you may have to explore spending some budget on custom apps/sites that will serve your specific purpose. If you go that route, your risk better be pretty calculated as that path can get costly.
  4. Testing 1, 2, 3. Is This Thing On? Testing your new idea in a live environment is crucial and exciting. Remember that since this may be uncharted territory for your company’s B2B effort, you may run into surprising results. In some of my experiences, I’ve set up expectations and not only were they not met, I witnessed something completely new about my customers that I wasn’t aware of, just based on how they interacted. Take that stuff seriously folks. Those are the nuggets of social media decision-making right there.
  5. Execute. Analyze. Tweak. Repeat. If you are an experienced marketer, you know this routine well. If you don’t know this routine well, you shouldn’t be in marketing or any other line of work that requires analysis and ROI. :-)

Go On With Yo’ Bad Self.

I hope some of this stuff helps you. These are some things that I’m doing right now and they seem to be working well as a fundamentally basic approach. I know that the variables in play for every company are so vast and at times amorphous. As I learn more and more through my experiences, running through these exercises with my current company and other clients, I’ll post the meat of what went down, regardless if what I tried succeeded or failed.

Onward.

Is Facebook Too Much Ying?

Posted by Rich Harris – November 26, 2009

yin_yangLet’s face it, Facebook has no Yang. You can only “Like” something or “Share” with others. When an ‘unfriending’ happens, the ‘unfriendee’ is not notified so that the ‘unfriender’ can bow out of battle quietly, hopefully without anyone noticing. Socially, it’s almost encouraging denial of the fact that with all the average size multicolored elephants in the room (fun happy time content & conversations), no one wants to acknowledge the gigantic white elephant…..you know, that one with it’s left eye gouged out, open wounds from gunfire, and a severe limp.

The proof of a much needed Yang side of Facebook is obvious. With all the ‘positivity’ built into Facebook, human nature can’t hold the Stepford bridge up for long. We needed a Yang right now or everyone was gonna start freaking out.  So we found a way with rampant Fan Page creation representing strong thought or opinion instead of something tangible like a product or service. Out of this came feature recommendations from users that made a pretty bold statement: We socially can’t all be living in a fuzzy sugar-filled land where everything is made of cotton candy, every living thing frolics instead of walks, and the house band for every club or venue is the Partridge Family, pounding out happy fun tunes with blue birds on their shoulders.

The creation of a fan page has turned into the 2009 version of protesting and marching with picket signs against the grain of Facebook’s intention. The difference is, a petition function and lead generation is built in and it’s global.

Let the bitchfest begin.

The Feature Set of Darkness

There have been some funny fan pages that I’ve seen. Here are a few of those:

The Dislike Button - This call for the opportunity to publicly insert your WAHmbulance into a conversation or on some posted content has been around for awhile. It’s not enough for us to just not say anything if we don’t like it. Is being a pacifist against our true nature? I don’t know but it’s funny to see the thousands of people wanting something like this so bad.

The Hate Button – I interpret this idea as not just wanting to let the world know you are offended by a conversation or content, but to let the world know that if given the choice, you would cripple this conversation with a baseball bat if it had two legs and could walk around.

The I Don’t Care Button - This is one that was ‘recommended’ to me today when I logged in. Isn’t this the same as inaction? If we publicly need to announce our apathy to everyone about a conversational topic, it’s no wonder that humanity accuses humanity of being a group of lazy, whiny, little brats.

The Boring Button - I saw this fan page awhile ago but couldn’t seem to find it again. Anyway, this to me represents our inherent need to be publicly smug about something, tapping our inner Kanye. Brilliant.

Let’s Heat Up This Petri Dish: We Aren’t “Friends” Anymore!

I think an interesting social experiment, and one that would surely make people either quit Facebook, or would at least quadruple the amount of thought going into deciding if you will confirm a friend request or not, is to automate the delivery of a friendly notification to the “unfriendee”, letting them know that person X just unfriended them. Hell, might as well take it a step further and put it publicly in their feed…something like, “So and so just unfriended So and so.” Imagine the awkwardness you could witness with functionality like this. You could cut it like butter. More funny would be people’s interactions with that feed activity, commenting or ‘liking’ it. Think about the conversations that would be generated on THOSE threads. I wouldn’t get ANY work done. It would turn Facebook into a virtual gladiator event! Where’s my toga?

Onward.

Social Media: Educate Your Internal Customers, Don’t Forget About Them

Posted by Rich Harris – September 16, 2009

421922_p3d-cinema-audience-posters-7633482They Might Be Old School, But They’re Still Here For A Reason

There are several key older companies that still reign supreme in 100’s of different industries. A lot of these older and larger companies are still mainstays in their respective industries and some of them will probably never go away because of how essential they are.

Quite a few of these companies are also interested and curious about social media, what it is, how can they leverage it, and what path in social media makes the most sense for them and their business. If you are in charge of social media at one of these companies either as an internal employee/contributor or as a consultant, you need to drive home the most important concept for these types of clients: Education.

Take Ownership, Empower Your Constituents

If you are at the helm of social media in your company or for your client, don’t just start creating accounts on social sites, doing all the ‘cool stuff’ people expect you to do, and then wonder why no one is including you in marketing meetings or wonder why no one seems to be as excited as you. You may find that most don’t have the understanding, hence the same passion for it, that you do because they just don’t know anything yet.

Don’t get frustrated that your company isn’t into it.  Maybe they need to learn first.

Social media came into play so freakin’ fast and is still like a non-stop bullet train of change that many have ever taken the time to explain it to them and get them educated and up to speed. If you approach it in a way that is all about you being the social media rockstar and make it all about you and your silly job title, then you are doing social media, and more importantly, the company in question, a HUGE disservice. Good marketing is about your ability to put your internal and external customers first and your high level excitement about the prospect of elevating others.

I’ve seen lots of blog posts about educating execs and directors on social media to get them on board. This is all great (and required) discussion. It’s obviously a big part of pitching SM to companies. However, remember that just because you sold all the management on SM, that is only the beginning. You’ve barely walked in the door of their house. Management buying into your pitch and cutting you a check is only a very early step in getting started.

As a social media professional it is your job to educate companies on the following topics (at the bare minimum):

  • The pros AND cons of social media. You know the pros already but they need to be made aware of all the cons like how noisy Twitter is, the decent amount of time it takes to invest in real relationships and maintain them effectively, the risk of corporate transparency and how it holds you accountable on a new level, small mistakes can lead to huge social media brush fires on Twitter.
  • Cost/ROI comparisons against traditional marketing methodologies.
  • The value of “quality of quantity” as opposed to just quantity when it comes to your leads/followers/fans.
  • Pick one site like Twitter, Facebook, etc. and let people ask you 8,000 questions about them. When explaining the facets of any of the sites like Twitter, etc. try and draw similarities where you can to actions your audience has taken in the past with traditional marketing so they can associate the their historical knowledge and efforts with the new lingo and tools. You may even want to ask for the details about a campaign they’ve run and then you illustrate for them the ’social media version’.

Some Tips On Getting Started

  • Set up brown bag lunches/meetings with sales, marketing, PR and poll everyone on their knowledge of social media. Make sure to note all ‘weak spots’ or ‘opportunities’ (what I’d rather call them) and start framing your education material around the results.
  • Sit down with business units that interact with customers directly and indirectly on behalf of the company and find out what they’ve been doing traditionally, what has failed, what has succeeded, and figure out how to translate some of those successful initiatives into the social media equation. They’ll learn the value of social media incredibly fast if they can identify what they already know with all the new ways of execution.
  • Make it your mission to evangelize internally (without sounding like some trendy zealot) how the only difference between SM and traditional marketing is the nimble nature of it because of the internet/tools. Everyone needs to accept and buy in to the fact that giving power to the people and their opinions now demands more respect and transparency and that your company has no choice but to be a part of it.

At the end of the day remember that you are only as successful as the people that genuinely back you and understand what you are doing. Social media is and always will be about everyone other than you.

Onward….

Zed, music, live, fun….

Posted by Rich Harris – August 26, 2009

I’m in a band. We’re called Zed. Here’s a video of us playing at the Brit in Cupertino, CA. I’m on drums. Fun was had. Check out the band website at zedisded.com or find us on Facebook at zedisded.com/facebook.

Zed New Song Live at the Brit from Bill Pennington on Vimeo.

Zed’s “New Song” for their live show at the Brit in Cupertino. 5DII and Flip footage combined.

Corporate Facebook Strategy: Multiple Fan Pages.

Posted by Rich Harris – August 26, 2009

Growth, It Happens.

As the Social Media guy (manager, dude, whatever) at Seagate, I have seen social media go from something that was an incremental piece of the communications landscape to a “must have” for many functions within the company. While that’s all good and validates the understanding of the power of social media  it does pose a bit of problem: how does a large corporation strategically support all these functions without muddying the waters and turn people away from the communities it’s trying to build? The answer I’m finding is that through some trial and error, companies may need to constantly rethink their approach to social media particularly as new functions within the organization look for real estate in the social media world.

I began this journey by building a Facebook Fan Page in the summer of 2008. As I’ve watched over the last several months, the unavoidable requirement for Facebook to support companies and their passionate desire to market f themselves on social networks has become a tidal wave of opportunity for third-party developers, marketers, small to medium businesses, and huge global companies. In most companies the social media foundation has been laid, the frame built, drywall, sheetrock, plumbing, electrical, flooring, paint…you name it….it’s now done here. Now it is time to sit back and figure out the next steps that make sense for your company. In social media, specific strategies need to be applied to EACH social media tool that is used by a company. On top of that, global companieshave multiple market segments and personas that have to be tended to, all of which are sprinkled throughout the various platforms/social sites. In this case, it’s more important than ever to move beyond the main house you’ve built, containing the furniture and feng shui that is the current social media entity and to start building a community with different neighborhoods in certain parts of ‘town’. I know I’m speaking a lot in metaphors. I do that a lot and apologize if you are confused about this blog post. I just liken building a marketing effort, – short term and long term, with building a house from scratch, adding surrounding neighborhoods, and beyond.  Anyhow, this is the point where I believe you need to start modifying your strategy, one social site/network at a time, with the big and little picture in mind.

First Up: Facebook

Seagate on FacebookSo in the beginning, the Gods of Facebook created groups. We started one for Seagate. Shortly after, they created Fan Pages. The benefit to fan pages was the zing and marketing-esque options, they way they updated people’s feeds, etc. The Seagate Fan Page was born. Very quickly this page has grown in content, userbase (fanbase ?), and most importantly – the amount of interaction with peeps from all over the world.

Many companies are at this point in their FB plan. One big corporate FB Fan Page with a variety of company information. What happens then when other functions and departments want to promote their particular product of service that is very specific and unique? No, is probably not the right answer. But what is the right answer?  . With every company in the world looking to reduce their budgets to save money and become more efficient, many departments see Facebook fan pages as an opportunity to market their specific product or service.  It’s all good, but what are the paths that can be taken to ensure alignment and messaging without damaging your company’s rep? Initially, I thought let’s duplicate content and have a “the more, the better” approach. Then I thought about how duplicated content on multiple web properties for a company was something that had always rubbed me the wrong way. I’ve never liked the shotgun approach to marketing because I always felt like it was lazy and underestimated (publicly and bluntly) our customers. At the same time, as the Social Media point person, you want to support their efforts. There-in lays the rub.

I’ve been watching companies/entities like Dell, Zappo’s, and the USAA closely, and how they’ve been extremely proactive with social media, allowing themselves to get their hands dirty in fairly uncharted territory when it comes to marketing their brands on social sites (outside of normal banner adverts). Dell has multiple pages that are fairly niched out but I still don’t feel like there’s much of a coordinated effort there…lots of pages with tons of content all the time. I’d prefer an approach that attempts to more cohesively connect Facebook pages strategically. And that’s exactly the approach I’m taking. Is it the right or only answer? Maybe. Maybe not. As I said, companies have to constantly go through a bit of trial and error and make corrections along the way.

Before building something like this you have to ask a few questions to legitimize the usefulness and need that a business unit or department would have for creating a Facebook fan page under your company’s umbrella. Questions like, “Is there a business benefit to marketing your department outside of the company?” or “Are resources available that can tend to the administration, maintenance and content of your page?” should be asked. Just make sure everyone is wanting to do this for your company for the right reasons and the same corporate message.

A couple general rules I like to adhere to for these fan pages is stuff I’ve mentioned above:

1. Avoid grossly duplicative content from any other company fan page unless it’s relevant to the purpose/subject matter of the fan page in question. Keep the content focused and precise and relevant. When someone joins a fan page that has a certain title and description, they are there to get that content and not be upsold everything else that the company has under the sun. You lose people that way, quickly.

2. Overarching content ideas should always be funneled through the person or team that is the official holder of the social media keys to the kingdom for a large company. Social media is fast and furious and people notice problems and discrepancies with everything that companies post. The internet as we know is forever, so if silos start happening within your company, ESPECIALLY on a social network, Twitter, etc. you risk a PR nightmare and potential legal issues…plus your company looks confused and clueless internally. No bueno.

I’m interested in hearing from anyone who has or manages a multi-tiered Facebook Fan Page enviornment (or equivalent on another social site). Please chime in here also if you have feedback, other ideas, disagree etc….please post your thoughts. I’m open to new ideas here as well.

Thanks for reading and happy Facebooking!

Facebook: Excavating Our Identity Crisis

Posted by Rich Harris – August 10, 2009

Where Did All Mah Peeps Go? Am I Being Abandoned? Did I Leave The Iron On?

I know I’ve done a lot of write-ups that appear to be “about” Facebook but honestly they’re more about behavioral psychology and what Facebook has tapped into when it comes to the human condition. I’ve been noticing a couple other things that have come up with Facebook and all of our behavior with it.

Being the socially whorish and obnoxious guy that I am, I have several friends and acquaintances that run the gamut of ethnicity, lifestyle, religion, sexual preference, socio-political opinions, apathy, workaholic, passive, aggressive, passive-aggressive, naivete, over-education to the point of pretentiousness, sensitive, tactless, creative, logical, lawless, and clueless…..the list goes on.

I’ve also noticed over the last few months that certain friends who I had connected with on Facebook from high school, places of employment from the past, etc…have un-friended me even though there was no negative incident or interaction with them that would be grounds for: “well screw you we aren’t friends anymore.”

They just…..simply……quietly……….with ninja stealthiness…….”unfriended” me. Where’s my WAH-mbulance?

Actually it doesn’t bother me at all….I’m about to tell you why….

In The Words Of The Great Philosopher Jackie Chan – “WHO AM I?”

(with hands in the air, insert cheesy echo from top of mountain here)

identity_crisis-291x300I realized after taking a look at the people that did “unfriend” me that they were probably offended by certain parts of Rich Harris (or just hated the fact that I filled up their Facebook feed, I’m cool with that). For example, I have some very right-wing fundamentalist Christian friends on here that I know would not be down with certain things I’ve posted, my sarcasm and openness to Buddhism, assessing it as probably borderline blasphemous. I know that I have some hessian metalhead friends that think I’m too emo. I have emo friends that think I’m sometimes too harsh and too much of a metalhead. I have blue collar friends that think I’m too geeky and dorky and geeky friends that think I’m too blue collar, gritty and rough around the edges for their liking.

Then, it dawned on me….I realized that I had established these relationships with these people on their terms, or what was comfortable for them. I had built that bridge from them to a facet of who I am but not who I am as a whole. One of my strengths is diplomacy, and dealing with small talk, total strangers, etc. So when I meet and relate with people it’s on topics that are comfortable or appropriate for that specific person. While I’m not dishonestly interacting with them socially or necessarily “hiding”, I am not revealing all of myself. Is this lying by omission about who I am or is it me being appropriate socially, showing tact, filters and self-control….and who the hell decides that definition?

What it comes down to honestly is at first I had an anxiety attack wondering how many people I offended and should I reach out and contact all those people making sure we were “all good”. But I realized that that is bullshit. The social mechanism, Facebook in this case, forces you to just be one person in front of all your various flavors of friends, family and acquaintances. I can’t be spiritual sometimes, and other times not be. I can’t only be a musician and other times only be sarcastic and other times only like Jameson and other times only be an internet geek and other times only be creative and other times only be white collar and other times only be blue collar……I am all those things at the same time and I shouldn’t have to hide that. Everyone else on Facebook has all their only little simultaneous facets. That’s what makes life and the world interesting. The universe would suck if we were identical robots, created in some factory somewhere.

We all have a choice when it comes to how much of ourselves we want to share with the world and it can be daunting to some people because they know that the internet is forever so they have to decide how far they’ll put themselves out there. Everyone’s comfort level is different. Everyone’s level of desire to share who they really are publicly is different. There’s no right or wrong here. We all have blood-spitting demons and cute white fuzzy bunny rabbits all inhabiting the same closet that is ourselves. Being the socially shape shifting guy that I can be, Facebook has forced me to be comfortable publicly in front of everyone of every ilk, to be ok with that..to be ok with the fact that some people from long ago may not be into who I am now….and to start shedding any insecurities I have about that.

At the end of the day the people that will stick with you are the ones that appreciate all aspects of you, even if it makes them uncomfortable. The rest of the people will ‘go away.’ – not cause they hate you or because you did anything wrong, but just because it’s trying to put a putting a social square peg through a round hole. Sometimes it’s just not a good fit. It’s ok and normal and ethical to be socially incompatible with people without hard feelings. We already know this…but I said it anyway.

Onward….